Our Habit of Deprioritizing Self Care

Coming home from meditation practice recently, I heard a journalist on the radio interviewing a nun from Plum Village Buddhist Community. The journalist was sharing how hard it was on her heart, not only to see all the things wrong in the world, but to report on them. In addition, she wondered what possible effect she could have on all these overwhelming and dire conditions, being only one person. The nun explained the most important things for us all to do when we hear about or experience suffering is to take care of ourselves and our own heart: she suggested we place our hands on our heart and say a prayer for a positive outcome to the situation for all involved. The reporter shared that caring for herself in this way would feel selfish. The nun’s reply was fairly simple: all of us are part of everything - and so, caring for the self IS caring for the whole.

You ARE the whole, and when you nourish and care for self in a true and deep way, everyone you interact with on a daily basis feels this, and everyone they interact with will feel this. Tending to your own suffering IS tending to the suffering of the universe - and the whole universe benefits. There are different way of tending to the self, and the ones that truly do so are not selfish; avoidant behaviors may ease our suffering and give momentary relief but rarely tend to the pain itself or nourish and heal the self experiencing the pain. In addition, they often create circular patterns of harm and suffering for ourselves and those we interact with. Meditation, a walk in nature, or getting acupuncture, on the other hand, may all seem like selfish pursuits, but the nourishment and compassion for self found through these activities allow us to walk through our lives with more ease and compassion for others. Then, the time and energy put into caring for self touches everyone we interact with and isn’t selfish at all.

With warmth and in good health,

Teo